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Dear David: A Friend in Need

Dr. Grant wants to see how well his responses stack up against those of ChatGPT. Read both results, vote for your favorite, and click “see previous responses” to view the results at the end.

A student wrote:

“My friends mean the world to me but I don’t to them because most of the time they are very rude to me and don’t add me in activities they do together, I’m not sure I fit in any “friend circle” because I don’t speak Russian or they just don’t like me, how do you think I should respond to this situation?”

. Dr D.A Grant:

This is a very challenging question and so difficult to answer without knowing much more. Language can be an issue if we don’t understand the nuances of conversations or jokes being made, but language does not define us and much communication is non-verbal. Good supportive friendships take time to develop, so first focus on being confident in yourself. Develop your inner strength and think about how you can help others who you see need support and friendship. Try to be someone who gives, not someone who needs. However, this question is most difficult for me because, as Head of School, I have many more enemies than friends. So, I asked my advisors, who actually have friends, and they say that if your ‘friends’ are very rude to you and don’t include you in their activities, you should find a new friend group!


It’s important to have friends who treat you with kindness and respect. If your friends are consistently rude to you and exclude you from activities, it may be time to reevaluate those relationships. It’s possible that they don’t realize how their behavior is affecting you, so consider having an open and honest conversation with them about how you feel. If they continue to treat you poorly, it may be time to move on and find friends who appreciate and value you. Remember that you don’t have to fit into any particular “friend circle” to have meaningful relationships. Seek out people who share your interests and values, and who treat you with kindness and respect. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone and try new things or meet new people. And most importantly, always remember that your worth as a person is not defined by whether or not you fit into a particular social group.

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